This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
