She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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