I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
