Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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