so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The Olympian is in my bed
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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