And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
