I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
