i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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