The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
