She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
