the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize