It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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