Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
