I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
