I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
