So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
