I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
