Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize