what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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