The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize