3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
