You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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