Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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