Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
