fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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