My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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