We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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