I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
did you just send me my own nude
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
