The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
