I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
