Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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