I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
