What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
