this boner is exhausting
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
