Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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