fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
