i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
