Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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