whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize