this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize