shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
