I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We got so high we made milksteak
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
