if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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