sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
