We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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