i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize