sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
