I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
MIDGETS
????
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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