So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
