dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
