I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize