I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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