He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
