Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
