No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
