her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
