i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
