I'm so fucking centered right now
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
