How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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