Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it hurts more in the daytime
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
