The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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